Saying "I do" shouldn't be that big of a deal

Ok so I'm confused? I have gay friends and they don't "gay vote", "gay pay taxes" or "gay serve in the military". But they do vote, pay taxes, and serve in the military...why should marriage be that big of a deal?

I just find it ridiculous that people think this will destroy our country...last I heard our country was founded on the beliefs that everyone was created equal and that this country would accept everyone with open arms. I find that the government telling people, what basically comes down to what most societies regard as a religious ceremony, they can't do that is against what we as Americans were created as and believe in.

Being gay is about as new to this world as being black, white, Asian, or any other race is. I am not gay, I am married, i vote, I pay taxes, and I stand on the firm belief marriage should be for everyone. Marriage is not about a man and a woman...MARRIAGE IS ABOUT LOVE AND RESPECT. People just need to get over their fear and bigotry. Hating someone who happens to love someone of the same sex is the same as hating someone for the color of their skin...both are genetics. People who say being gay or straight is a choice are just foolish. Why would someone choose to be reviled, discriminated against, and denied the same rights as everyone else. Anyone who singles out someone who is gay is no better than the same type of individual who puts on a white sheet and hood and burns crosses. Our country is based on equal right, acceptance , and freedom from religious leaders telling us as a country what we can and can not do. We have gotten away from this when we have elected officials quoting scripture and saying "god" is against this happening...we are traversing a very slippery slope and are in danger of losing ourselves. America it is time to remember what this country is about, and it is time to remember that discrimination of any type is bigotry pure and simple.

Breathe.....................................

Breathe in.....

Noise rushes in, loud, hurtful, rough

Breathe out.....

Push the pressures out, quiet, calming, smooth

Breathe in.........

Hear those angry voices of the past, the hurtful things said and done

Breath out..........

Remember the good times, the embrace of a mother, a loved one, the soothing lullaby

Breathe in...................

A hand raised in anger, fingers curled into a fist

Breathe out................

That soothing touch in the dark from true love.

Breathe in.........................

The loss of a love....loneliness, solitary

Breathe out.......................

That cry out of your child's first second of life as they place them in your arms

Breathe in...............................................

The cry of a child coming home learning the cruel lessons that come with life

Breathe out.............................................

Holding that child and taking that pain from them letting them know you are there

Breathe out...................................................................

The loss of a loved one , holding their hand , watching that spark go out, that..last..breathe..go

Breathe in.....................................................................

Living on, loving on, holding on..... remembering.....to......just.....keep..........breathing..........

Dr. Technolove (or How I stopped worrying and learned to love Twitter)

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."-Martin Luther King Jr.

This is a quote that I find simplistic yet at the same time very deep in its meaning..here was a man that was brought up in a time that was told he was not equal, he was not allowed the same inalienable rights that all men are allowed not because he was a criminal, not because he was a terrorist, or some personage from a foreign land, but simply because he was of a different color. I know I have touched on this theme before but this is something that resonates inside me. This is not a problem for just America these days but for the whole world. Things are different now than they were a century ago, a decade ago, or even a year ago. We are no longer a world comprised of small fiefdoms, and tribes. We are no longer separated by long distances, and borders. This world that we live in now is truly one. We are on a path of becoming one world, one land, one people, one tribe. Movements that can upset an entire government and way of life can be started half a world away. Take the uprising in Egypt. You have a land where a ruler has been in place for decades. In fact many of the grown adults that were in the streets calling for change were not even born when this ruler was put into office. They refuse to be complacent anymore and stood up to challenge a ruler that they have known all their life. Events happened in Tunisia, then Mohammed Bouazizi set himself on fire, this all leads to Asmaa Mahfouz blogging, tweeting, and using social media to cry for change. Within a matter of days it had sparked a revolution, a revolution that overturned one of the most corrupt regimes in the Middle East that had existed for 3 decades and had a horrible history of gross injustices and human rights violations.

Up until now this was unheard of...think back 40-50 years to the Vietnam War,this was the first time that the horrors of war were brought into the living room. Before then your updates into what was going on in far off countries were through newsreels and periodicals. Now you could turn on the nightly news and get updates as to what was happening, but even then there were delays. You may hear now what happened 1-2 weeks ago. Think to that iconic photograph that most of us have seen where the Vietnamese General is executing a suspected Viet Cong. Or think to the photo of Buddhist monks who set themselves on fire in protest. Or the heartrending shot of the child running down the road naked, crying and burned from napalm that destroyed her village. These photos were not seen by the general world until well after they happened. Sure you say that is because they were half a world away...ok take this example Bernie Boston's photo of the "flower power" of protesters putting flowers into the barrels of guns, the photos of dogs and fire hoses being set on people, the pics of John Kerry and Jane Fonda at anti-war rallies. All of these were taken and took days or weeks to reach the general public. These were things that would shape our world, country and society for decades to come, yet even then no on had a concept of deep that it could be.

Think about today, it is no strange thing to see someone take a photo or video and have it be seen world wide within seconds. How different would things have been then if you were there and you took that photo as that trigger was pulled knowing that within seconds someone thousands of miles away could see it and raise their voice in protest right at that second. Even 20 years ago it was not common to see someone with a cell phone. To video something you had a huge camera with a VHS tape in it. To put this in perspective ...March 3, 1991...on this date a high speed chase ends with the suspect tasered, beaten, and in cuffs. OK to make it a bit clearer...this suspect was hit 56 times with batons, kicked 6 times, handcuffed and dragged to the side of the road and left on his stomach until an ambulance came. This was taped by a local of the area unbeknownst to the police, this person went to the police who wanted nothing to do with it, so the person who filmed it, George Holliday, went to the local news, who after a couple of days of the instance happening played it in it's entirety over the airwaves. This led to trial and 13 months later horrible violence and rioting when the officers were acquitted. Yes this was the "Rodney King beating". That was 20 years ago, almost30 years after the end of Vietnam. The only people who had cell phones were typically thought of as the very rich or criminals, digital cameras were unheard of, the Internet was used only in approximately 44% of households, YouTube was over a decade away.

Now flash forward to 2011...it is not unusual to see something happen and watch someone pull out an object the size of a pack of cards, film it, and send it across the city, country , or world. We have become a world of instant gratification. Of facebooking our lives, posting our visual history on flickr, tweeting our every movement from when we get up, to the last time we used the restroom. Social media is no longer the high society page in a newspaper but is a cornerstone of our world. Children today are more savvy into the workings of our world. They can't help but to be. Small town America no longer exists..the average household has 2-3 TVs, 3 cell phones, and at least as many computers of some type. The world of Johnny Mnemonic and William Gibson is upon us. People have wondered how it would affect society...it doesn't take much to realize it.

These are our times of controversy and challenge. We need to realize that technology is here to stay, so how it is used is up to us. We often complain of the loss of privacy and of invasion into our space by the government. We do this while turning on TMZ to see the latest gossip, see which celebrity is being chased by the paparazzi, and updating our facebook about what's for dinner, all while laughing at someone's drunken college photo you were "tagged" in. We complain about what our children are seeing and doing, when we ignore them behind closed doors, while they chat on the Internet, with game controllers in hands.

So here is the challenge...realise that technology is changing, always and forever..."evolve or die"...realise that there are things out there we may not want to know, want to see, want to hear...realise that yes there will always be someone listening and/or watching. But this is also not something be afraid of. Technology is a tool just like a hammer, wrench, or screwdriver. Tools can be used to build or to tear down. The tool does not do wrong or evil acts, the hand that wields it does. Technology can be used to build a society or bring down a regime. It is up to us to use those tools and it is up to us build a future we can be proud of or to do nothing and allow those same tools to be used for evil. These are our times of challenge and controversy, we should be happy for that and make the best we can. Like the Chinese proverb, "May you live in interesting times", I would say these times are quite interesting and I for one can't wait to see what's next.

The Importance of being....me

I was asked why do I write things here and put them up here so that everyone can sift through them. I was asked am I not afraid that someone is going to see this and I am going to be embarrassed? There is no short answer...ok well yes there is...and that is no not really...but the long answer is much more interesting.


I debated doing a blog for a long time. I have always like to write...albeit on my terms. To me it's like painting...each keystroke, each movement of the pen is like a brush across the canvas. Sometimes it is is great, sometimes it sucks, and sometimes it is something amazing that touches people in ways you could never imagine. I learned a long time ago that not everyone is going to like everything you do or you say. Years ago when I started doing art I was invited to participate in a group show in a local small gallery in Dallas along with four others. I submitted an eight foot woodland abstract done in charcoals, pencil portraits that blended grays, black, white, colors, sucking you in swearing parts might be a photograph, and series of small wood sculptures. It went really well, I sold a couple of pieces and got really great reviews. The next show I was invited to I was cocky now and didn't really try, lets just say this one didn't go well lets just say it was a disaster. This really upset me...ok, let's be very frank here...it pissed me off. My ego was bruised...oh yeah..by the way I have something of an ego sometimes. So I spent a few weeks...for a lack of a better word we'll say...pouting. So the annual invitational student show at the college campus is coming up...I am invited so I poured every ounce of my anger and frustration into on piece, a wood sculpture. I spent hours pouring over the wood, using a wooden mallet and chisels only. I sanded every inch by hand, staining it until I thought I would never get the color off my hands. I polished it to a high gloss...all by hand. The time to show it comes up I chose a podium in the middle of the show that rotated and I displayed the object of my heart. It got very mixed reviews, some people hated it, many loved it, a few were even offended by it. What was this piece? An almost three foot tall finger! I loved it...it was then that I realised unless you put your heart into it the what you create is truly sub par. True some people will like it but will YOU truly be satisfied with it?


I have been asked how do I write, how do I draw, how do I create? What is my process? I know many writers have certain way of doing things. Writers in many ways are more superstitious than baseball players. Certain rituals are done...having the desk face a specific direction...writing only on certain typewriters or kinds of computers...writing outlines, writing draft, after draft, after draft, starting in the middle and working backwards and forwards to the beginning and end at the same time. None of these ways are wrong and none are necessarily right. What I find is to do what fits for you..."borrow" this method or that mesh it with something else, throw it all out, come up with your own...whatever works. I mull my piece over in my head for hours or days before I put it down on paper. Running it over and over in the back of my brains in a very multi tasking schizoid way I've been told..hahah...I do this until I throw it up in a very Pollock-ian (is that a word...hmmm...it is now) way. Just throw it up there with total abandon. I read what I put then to see if I like it or not...if I do...done...if not...gone..poof! It's what matters to you that counts. The same goes for life...do what you will...do it with abandon, throwing yourself into it with every piece of who you are and how your heart feels. Who cares if others don't like it. If you like it then that is what matters . Always.
Many times in this society we look to others for praise, acceptance, and validation of who we are. I remember growing up and leaving church as a child and asking "was I good?". The answer I received from my parents was the end all be all. As I grew I received good advice from my parents that I remember to this day, " before you do something, think this to yourself 'how will you feel if you do this?' ". I of course did not always listen to them or do this...what child or teenager does? But as I grew and truly discovered who I was I took it to heart. You have to look inside you to see how you feel about it. There are too many people in today's society that sit there and try to make themselves feel like something by making others give them praise and attention for everything that they do, every illicit act, sex tape and binge. How many Paris Hiltons, Kardashians, Lohans, or Sheens are out there? How many programs like TMZ or Dr.Phil, or Oprah out there are force feeding us the pablum of what celebrity is doing what or who, who is balling there itty bitty fists and crying out "look at me look at me look at me!"? There are more and more instances like this and less and less instances of people doing what they believe is right for themselves. Now I know that people will argue with this and that is fine, I want them to. Think about this how many shows on TV are obsessed with addiction, teen moms, getting drunk, partying, or are reality shows. 30 years ago a reality show was unheard of ...TV writers actually had to write shows, to create, to actually craft something from the ether. There are less and less of these, even movies more often than not are remakes or "reboots" of previous stories and movies. Our society is saturated with this. You can turn on the media delivery device of your choice, TV, phone, laptop, desktop, gaming device, iPod...and be bombarded by this. Kids see this everywhere they turn. Could this be one of the reasons that rates of drinking, drug use, violent crime, and pregnancies in teens has gotten lower and lower in age and higher and higher in amounts? I don't know. But when you have a society that is constantly pushing less and less originality and more and more conformity maybe. Try and look at it this way ...when you were 13 year old you of course listened to what you friends said, you tried to do what they did, watch what they watched, listen to same music they listened to...now if you are a 13 year old and all you see is that if you don't think, do drugs, get in fights, get knocked up are on TV what do you think is going to happen?
Basically it comes down to you. You have to look into your own soul, self, person, whatever you want to call it and find that spark. You have to be the one who is going to be original. you have to be that person, that still small voice who is going to cry out and stand out from the crowd. You have to be the one to say " I am going to do this, this is mine, like it or don't! I don't care!" You have to say that you refuse to be force fed, I am not going to be this round peg, I am going to stand out, you have to say. It is up to each and everyone of us to show that there is originality in all of us, and to pass that down to those that come after. Who knows you may just inspire the next DaVinci? Or you can do nothing and let them be the next Paris Hilton or whatever media whore is the flavor of the month then.
So that's the answer...you don't have to be unafraid. Fear can be a good thing. You just have to do it. There will be people who love it, people who hate it, people who look at it and shrug their shoulders, but you will know inside yourself that you did it, and you put your heart into it and it , for you, was good.
Don't go through life wondering "what if?". Go through life saying "I did it!".

I am what I am..........

Who am I?
Am I that confused small child?
Stumbling thru life trying to pick the right path
wondering if maybe I picked the wrong one
Am I supposed to kill the Buddha in the road,
should I learn motorcycle repair and try to be zen about it.
Just because you are ok doesn't necessarily mean I am, and vice versa
does anyone really care what the color of my or your parachute is
Every decision is a mountain, every choice is nothing
Do I do this, or do I do that?
Should I do what you want, what I want, what they want?
I know I should listen to god...
ok now do I listen to your god, my god, the new god, the old one
Should I listen to the politicians, the movers, the shakers..
what makes their choice better
Should I listen to the teachers, the students, the slacker, the stoner, the genius, the village idiot?
Should I listen to all of them, giving each a little compartment,
stacking them one on top of the other higher, higher, farther, deeper
until I am in a small little corner...
Should I ask others for my worth?
Everyday we have it crammed into our faces and down our gaping maws....
buy this, wear this, be this, be that...
Maybe I should listen to the voices of the past..
welcoming the tired , the hungry, the huddled masses
or should I tune in, turn on and drop out
should I read your lips,
should I be afraid of others just because they look and sound different?

Or....maybe...I shouldn't listen to any of them...
maybe every choice I make, every path I choose is the right one.
Maybe you don't get to tell me who I am...
maybe I get to make my own decisions.
Who am I?
I am me.

The Rhetoric of Hate

I sit here watching the news and every story is filled with unhappiness, hate, violence, etc. I watch the loss of civility of our elected officials and am not surprised when the average person mirrors this. We have a tough time ahead of us in this country right now...unemployment is up, prices are on the rise, the economy has hit record lows and people are trying harder now than they have in decades just to make ends meet. I watch the debates going on in Congress and the budget and health care are at the forefront. I watch highly educated men point fingers and sink to the level of calling names and spouting hate. Hate, that is based on the fact that someone else has a different idea, philosophy, way of thinking, or just because they belong to another political party than you. These are men and women that we have chosen to lead us , to be the voice for us and to make decisions for us that will affect every aspect of our way of life. But these people seem to have forgotten their way, they push through their personal agendas, cater to the highest bidder, and act like petulant children if they don't get their way. THIS HAS TO STOP.
Recently there was a horrible tragedy in Arizona, innocent people were hurt, killed, and had their lives changed forever. All of this occurred because one deranged individual decided for one reason or the other that it was his duty to kill. I watch the news show our elected officials arguing, pointing fingers...Democrats blaming Republicans for not being tough on guns, Republicans blaming Democrats for being to lax on laws that keep people like this off the street, one group telling another how terrible it is but it is not their fault it's the other guys fault. I watch Sarah Palin come on and say how hurt she is because people say she is at fault because she showed cross-hairs on that political district and how horribly this is affecting her life. OK here is who's fault it is....it is the fault of the person who pulled the trigger...no one made him do it, his deranged way of thinking did it. We need to quit trying to blame everyone else for the problems going on and trying to make ourselves into victims. People like Sarah Palin, and these congressmen and women who come out and try to point fingers and say how hurt they are are nothing more than a bunch of media whores, selling themselves and their values to the highest bidders. Do you want to know who really was hurt? How about a woman who is in a hospital fighting for her life after being shot in the head? How about the parents and family of a little 9 year old girl who only wanted to see one of her heroes? Or the other numerous people whose families will never be the same as their loved ones were hurt or killed?
We have lost our way as a country, a society, and as a world in general. I grew up being taught that no one is the same as anyone else, yet I watch as all over the world hate for that which is different is taught. Humans are not supposed to be homogeneous, it is not in our DNA. We are all different for a reason. This country was founded by people fleeing oppression, and wanting to make a better place, and yes we have made mistakes, and we are not perfect but we are who we are.
"Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"...have we forgotten what this means? This was an open invitation to the world..letting them know that if you were oppressed, yearning for a better life, wanting to make a safe place, a wonderful place for your family, the Land of Opportunity was where you needed to go. However, now I listen to people say that we need to build fences, we need to keep out foreigners, we needs to stop letting people come....why? When you hear these things do you realise that you are spouting the same hate that has been spouted by the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei...or better known as Nazi's. This is the same hate spouted by Osama bin Muhammad bin Awad bin Laden as he issues a fatwa against all non-Muslims (which is not an embraced feeling by most Muslims, as it is a religion that teaches peace and acceptance). The same hate spouted by David Duke, ex-Grand Dragon of the KKK, who has made claims that many Tea Party members want him to run for president. If we as a country are going to continue on this path then we truly have lost our way.
We spend more money on trying to close or borders in many states than we spend on education and health care. When did this become the norm? If we educate our children better, if we take care of our ill, and mentally ill, better, and if we remember that we are all different, and accept these differences then thing WILL begin to change for the better. I stated earlier that our DNA is meant to have differences. Think about this...if it was not we would not have different looks, skin colors, sexual choices, or even religions, thoughts and languages. We would all be the exact same. So when you look at the person next to you and you realise that they are different, then also realise this is because that is how it was meant to be. It is not "love thy neighbor as you love thyself"...but only if they are the same as you. There is no stipulation...God, Buddha, Mohamed, Nature, Gaea...whatever you believe in...all teach the same thing..accept the differences, love people for those differences, and we are all equal.
As I leave you today remember these things:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”-Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The formless Absolute is my Father, and God with form is my Mother.” God reveals Himself in the form which His devotee loves most. His love for the devotee knows no bounds.
- Ramakrishna

"The sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky." - the poet Hafiz

"I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God". -Sufi proverb